My background was definitely more along the strict side of things. When the TV Guardian came out, it was hooked up to our big box TV like many other like-minded families. It had its advantages, I suppose, except when it caught a “naughty” word too late, or its “safe” word to use instead was downright silly. If you know, you know. Just another case of fundamentalism having wonderful intentions but not the best execution.
When it came to learning about language, here are two of the more common verses and ideas that were prominent in my background. These were ingrained into my mind not only through memorizing the passages but also regular teaching/preaching lessons.
Matthew 12:36 People will give an account for every idle/empty/vain word (Context is how trees are known by their fruit; i.e., what we do/say reflects our inner thoughts and ambitions and motivations)
Ephesians 4:29 Let no unwholesome talk proceed from your mouth
Since those words that begin with h, d, a, and definitely not s or f could be wholesome, we never ever say them. Some people inserted safer words, like gosh, heck, suck, freaking, dang, etc. I wasn’t allowed to say some of these, either. So the culture of Christianity began to argue, Are words just words? What does it mean for words to be “idle/empty”?
This seems like a silly discussion in light of the ginormous issues the world is facing in modern times, but here are some thoughts (in no particular order):
1. These passages and the many others that discuss how we talk have more in mind than specific words.
I do think that the specific words we use are important, and flippant speech is never a good idea. We can look through Proverbs and find much support for thinking before speaking. So there is some merit to the idea of recognizing “good language” from “not so good language” to hurtful or destructive language.
On the other hand, any passage we use to support it is talking about the “heart,” or the thoughts/intents behind the language, not the actual words used. I can say some fantastic words, absolutely “loving” language in a horrible tone. People can (and obviously do) use Christian/religious language as cuss words or colorful adjectives.
Wholesome speech more often is talking about encouraging one another, building others up, uniting with others, etc.
2. “Christian” bad words reflect just as angry and broken of a heart as the “real” bad words
This is similar to what I said before, but inserting fake cuss words may be ok on the surface, but the Pharisee in me and the Holy Spirit/Jesus teaching in me would reach the same conclusion. The Pharisee would draw another boundary and say, Those are no good, either. Purity requires not saying any word that even has me thinking about the real bad word. Jesus would say, If you’re saying words that still reflect a heart of anger or discontentment or greed or pride, let’s work on that first.
At the same time, hopefully we can all acknowledge that we do wrestle with pride, anger, frustration, and the list goes on. And in our emotions, our words create an outlet for how we feel. Is this an excuse to unleash anger on someone and cuss them out? Probably not. But at least we can be aware of our internal struggles and know why we are doing/saying the things we do.
3. This is one issue where culture does determine “right” from “wrong”
Every book on Christian ethics/morality will hammer home the point that Scripture is the final authority on all things. True. But when it comes to bad words, the Bible is pretty silent. Other than the verses about using our speech to edify, it doesn’t give the list of good vs. bad. So this may the best example I know where culture determines “the list.”
How do I know?
A. Obviously, cuss words are different by language
My firm belief in the importance of the global church forbids me from creating a superficial list of words we can never say. That’s slightly (among other things) biased, in that I could primarily list a bunch of English words. I have some experience in other languages, but I don’t know all their secret words. (I know that’s the first question students ask when they learn a new language. Haha).
Side note: Paul came as close to cussing as he could a couple times in the NT (as in Greek language and another reason the Bible is silent on that word list). Philippians 3:8-13 has Paul counting all his achievements as “dung.” That’s pretty much sh*t. And every time he says, “God forbid” (KJV, sorry), it’s the strongest negation that existed in the Koine language. Basically, “Hell, no.”
B. The list of cuss words changes over time
Thank you, King James, for proving the point. “Ass” is obviously all over the Bible, since it wasn’t determined a terrible word in Elizabethan language (it’s honestly not one of the jaw dropping ones now, but it’s on most peoples’ list).
When we read the older books, we see many words that mean different things throughout time. Some of our words were repulsive to them and vice versa.
Conclusion:
Can cussing still bother me if I have no moral “authority” then? That’s a terribly worded question. But I would say yes and no.
First, I don’t need a chapter and verse to list all the words that people “can’t say.” (Again, the list changes regularly.) The fact that a morally decaying society has created this list of words they don’t find acceptable is condemning enough. Second, if someone is cussing, I don’t need to correct them, shame them, wince around them, etc.
Because of my careers as teacher, pastor, and chaplain, individuals have regularly apologized for language around me. I’ll admit, their apology makes me more uncomfortable than the cussing. I try to help them understand I don’t care, and I have no authority over anyone. I’m more concerned about their life, heart, worries, fears, frustrations, than the words they say. At the same time, I also know words can offer insight into those emotions (not always).
Not all cussing is emotional. It could be casual, every day language, simply part of one’s vocabulary. That may be a whole nother conversation about the heart, cultural norms, language choices and why, peer pressure, filling one’s mind with better influences (just presenting options, not saying any or all the above).
So is saying a cuss word wrong/sinful? I guess it would depend on motives, influences, and goals. If it is habitual, part of consistent vocabulary, I would have questions as seen above. If one (or a string of them) comes out due to an emotional situation (fear, grief, anger, frustration), it may be the best way to express oneself. I’m not the judge here.
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